Depression
"One sees great things from the valley; only small things from the peak." --- Gilbert K. Chesterton
Depression can be debilitating, which may be an understatement for some and yet most people will experience symptoms of depression at some point in their lives. Whether it is events happening to us, and/or something that may have started inside of us, which can sometimes be much worse because we don't have something to point to, processing the feelings is difficult. You may have suffered from low level feelings of sadness for many years or ever so often you have intense periods of sadness. On the other hand this may be the first time and you are uncertain what to do. Additionally, for some a love/hate relationship can develop with the depression. It feels good to some extent to punish yourself and be this miserable.
“In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant… My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known — no wonder, then, that I return the love." --- Søren Kierkegaard
Wondering if you belong or that you are a burden to others may be consistently in your thoughts. To end your life may have crossed your mind. My job and the purpose of counseling is to give you care and comfort and to help create a sense of hope and future vision, which may seem impossible. It's not. Even if you have tried therapy or medication before, or a combination, and didn't feel like it helped, you may want to give it another shot. While I would change the word "inability" to "challenge" or "difficulty" in the below quote, it resonates with many people.
"Depression is the inability to construct a future." --- Rollo May
Anxiety
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” --- Søren Kierkegaard
Life is not determined and uncertainty exists. Overwhelming thoughts and feelings may follow, which some call anxiety. Anxiety can take on many forms, including specific fears/phobias, obsessions and compulsions where control and lack of control battle, social anxiety, fear of close relationships, trauma, fear of death, and more. An individual may seek counseling for these issues or just because they know something doesn't feel right and the intensity is overwhelming at times. Suffering with anxiety is difficult and counseling can help you gain insight to move through and establish a different relationship with the thoughts and feelings as you voluntarily attempt to engage the world around you.
Grief-loss
“For in grief nothing 'stays put.' One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it? How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, 'I never realized my loss till this moment?' The same leg is cut off time after time.” C.S. Lewis - A Grief Observed
Losing someone through death or losing some part of your life (job, a relationship, moving and losing friendships, etc.) is saddening. Grief or bereavement often follow; for some immediately, some gradually, and for others much later. Some "move on" quickly and for others it takes longer. Media and other outlets have popularized the notion that it occurs in stages and in a straight line, while even the field of psychology suggests that if you feel certain things too intensely or for too long, something is seriously wrong with you.
This undermines the uniqueness of who you are, the significance of who or what was lost, the ongoing relationships around you, your spiritual view of the matter, and the human plight that we will all experience loss at some point and respond differently. I'm NOT here to pathologize your loss (find something wrong with your response). I'm here to empathize and understand, to be with you during this season in your life, but also help you move forward.
Trauma-PTSD
“It is perfectly true, as philosophers say, that life must be understood backwards. But they forget the other proposition, that it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard
Whether from childhood or adulthood, there are many kinds of traumatic experiences, such as sexual, medical, accidents, or military experiences, that can impact us physically, emotionally, psychologically, relationally, and spiritually. One definition of trauma says that a person was exposed to a life-threatening event or serious injury and a sense of safety and trust was violated. A person may begin to re-experience the events whether through dreams or flashbacks. One may change their routines to avoid these feelings or recollections and significantly change the way they operate in the world. Additionally, difficulty sleeping, irritability and anger, poor concentration and other anxiety related symptoms may persist. It can often be very difficult to move forward. One can feel very alone and the statement "it will get better" from friends and family may not help and even become irritating.
Or maybe you have never told anyone and the aloneness is unbearable. As the above quote says, the trauma does need to be discussed at the appropriate time, which can be difficult, but with an anticipation that one must live, always moving forward. Counseling can help you voluntarily confront the past in the present and regain some control of thoughts and feelings. Whether counseling that follows specific steps (Cognitive Processing Therapy or Prolonged Exposure) or a different approach that feels more comfortable to you, empathy, caring and compassion will be used to help you move forward forthrightly.
Stuck -uncertain
“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” --- Søren Kierkegaard
You may be seeking counseling from a place of despair and hopelessness, which can be understandable response to the events and choices of life. But I love this quote, as it creates a sense of excitement, of wonder, of hope. My hope is that counseling can be a place where you begin to see a future that is different. The beginning can be difficult and part of my responsibility is to help you see the possibility, the potential, to help you move.
Purpose and meaning
"'Everything is meaningless,' says the Teacher, 'completely meaningless!'" Ecclesiastes 1:2 (NLT)
“I beg you to believe that life is not a process, it's a drama.” ― Malcolm Muggeridge
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a (NLT)
You may have asked the following questions: "Where did I come from? Why am I here? and Where am I going?" or "What now?" Most people ask these questions, hopefully sooner rather than later, as they have immense consequences to how we live our lives and what type of legacy we leave. Some call it an "existential crisis" when someone is struggling with these and other major life questions. They are life and death questions that get at what it means to be fully human. Many distractions and the seemingly endless pleasures of life can delay the seeking for a season in our life, but even in looking back, they are questions that will be answered by the way we lived. And yet, maybe your are asking these questions now and uncertainty, doubt, and lack of clarity exist. This may impact you intellectually, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. What if my life has no meaning? What does a life of purpose and fulfillment look like? I know I am going to die, but I don't know what that means? To focus on these issues can be difficult and yet immensely important and invigorating at the same time.
Get in touch
Email is the best way for me to correspond with you regarding all initial and first appointment questions. This also may take the pressure off feeling like you have to commit to counseling if you are on the phone with me, while also allowing me to often respond more promptly and with detailed information. I respond to all emails throughout the week.